Grateful

Hi Everyone

Blog time again.

Firstly I want to just say that I am sorry for not posting every week. I know that one of the things about a blog is regular updates, but this is not just another blog. This blog is inspired by God and I’ve also learned that sometimes we don’t hear God, not because we are not listening or not obedient enough or too full of sin, but quite simply because God doesn’t have anything to say to us at the time.

In the last couple of weeks God has been following a routine with me. He would start on a Monday or Tuesday by showing me certain things and making me face a few challenges head-on. Almost like a practical class. Sometimes it felt like He threw me in at the deep end and forcing me to swim or drown. Luckily I know that He will never let me drown. During the week I’ll usually learn a lot about myself and God would let me try to figure it all out by myself, as that is how my mind works and God knows me all too well. Then by the weekend God would start to reveal His plan behind the challenges of the week and the meaning of it all. I see this as the theoretical class. God would also deliver me from anything bad that would come out of the “lesson for the week”. Sometimes He would show me certain things about myself or my past that I had to repent and be delivered from.

But this is only my experience and I know that this “routine” might only be a temporary thing. God does not follow any formulae. He doesn’t follow any routine. Jesus healed everyone in a different way at different times in different places. Imagine if God did follow routines? Where would we be? If He had to rest every Sunday like we do? Where would this world be? What if He only healed people on a Tuesday or saved people from car accidents on a Thursday? Or what if He only loved us on Fridays? Then we could really say TGIF... and just for the record, in my book TGIF means “Today God Is First” and that goes for every day.

What I am trying to say is that we have an awesome God. He never sleeps. He is just there all the time waiting to love us and all we need to do to receive His love is to accept Him in our lives.

So my blog post tonight is not about us. It’s not about my personal experiences with God and it’s not about any How’s or Why’s when it comes to God. It’s just about saying “thank you God”.

Tonight I say thanks to Jesus for all the blessings in my life. For all the joy and peace and love that He gave me. I praise God for changing my life and washing me clean. I praise His Holy name for restoring me and renewing me and giving me a new life. I love God for loving me and blessing me with talents that I can use to glorify His name. I fall down on my knees and cry out to God the following prayer:

God I come before you tonight, unworthy of even calling your Name, but I thank you from my heart for what you did for me. For dying on the cross so that I can live. I thank you Father that you picked me up from the ashes and washed my sins away. I thank you that you restored me and filled me with your Holy Spirit. I thank you for giving me a purpose in this life and a new hope. I thank you for the calling you have on my life. I thank you for choosing me to be a part of the Body of Christ. To be part of the great work that is required on Earth. Jesus I thank you for caring for me and protecting me from all evil. God I thank you for all the blessings you bestowed upon me, the amazing love you placed in my life as well as the infinite love that you show me every day. Jesus I could not ever repay you, so I ask that you take control of my life and use me in your kingdom. I am your servant. Your love is deep and wide and furious. Your love heals. I can only say thank you Jesus. Amen.

Blessings until next time!

B

WWJD?

Hello once again.

It’s been two weeks since my last update and in this time God has drawn me so close to Him and showed me a few things that I have to share with you.

So let’s start and get straight into it. Sin. Yes, that ugly word that always makes you feel guilty when you hear it. It’s that thing that caused this world to be as broken as it is now. It’s not only something you do, it hurt other people when you do it and most of all, it hurts God.

So we know that sin comes from satan and we know that we sin every day. We also know that we need to ask God’s forgiveness through Jesus Christ who died on the cross for our sins, but is it possible to live a life without sin? We know that Jesus never sinned in His time on earth, but is it possible for you and me to live that way?

Now let’s remember something very quickly: Scripture says that we were made in God’s image. We also know that when we give our hearts to Jesus we are filled with the Holy Spirit who is a Person, a part of the Holy Trinity. The Holy Spirit is not a ghost in the corner, it’s God Himself inside you.

So I knew this for a very long time and I thought, okay well, it’s just the way we understand it and that we were supposed to be like Christ but because we are humans we will never be like Christ and will always be sinners and the Holy Spirit inside me is actually just my conscience telling me right from wrong.. but that sometimes only happens after I’ve sinned and then it makes me feel guilty and you know that I’m just talking in cirlces here because I didn’t really understand it..

I think a lot of Christians don’t always understand this because we get told by everyone that we are sinners so I think that many of us are just in a “cycle of sin”.. we sin every day and then just before we go to sleep we pray to Jesus to forgive us for our sins and the next morning it just starts all over again.

Now  Jesus has been working with me for a few weeks now, showing me things that I had to hand over to Him and things that I had to be delivered from. In the last 2 weeks, especially the last week Jesus started to make me very sensitive to sin. I mean everything that’s wrong in His eyes.

Allow me to tell you this first. Before I got saved I thought it must be difficult to stick to the rules. I always had a bit of a rebel inside me who would question any kind of rules and how relevant it is to the cause etc etc. So being a Christian seemed like very hard work for someone like me. Staying inside the rules and not question it... limiting myself and giving up my “freedom”, or at least the freedom I thought I had at that stage.

Luckly for  me Jesus opened  my eyes and I got saved and then I started to experience what real freedom meant. The freedom that Jesus paid for with His own blood.

So back to a week ago. Jesus started to show me every little thing that causes us to sin. I became so aware of everything I did that I moved a little slower through the day and thinking about what Jesus is trying to show me. I saw all the traps that satan sets for us every day, not only for myself, but for the people around me too. 

Things that stood out for me was how easy it was to get involved when people are busy gossiping. For others it’s easy to react in anger. Many people idolise others, especially celebrities and sports stars. Some people are so obessed with their hobbies or even their problems. Most people are obsessed with money and I could write a book on the problems that money can cause. Other things that espcially men should watch out for is woman dressed inappropriately. The saying goes:”It’s okay to look at the menu, as long as you eat at home”. I’m afraid to say that this is not true. It’s just another one of satan’s games. Yes, there are a lot of pretty human beings out there and the TV and magazines sells sex like it’s going out of fasion. Have you noticed how every magazine has the word “sex” on the cover these days. Can you control your mind to be blind to this? Can you look the other way?

I walked in the shopping mall across my office during my lunch break and I looked at the eyes of other men when a pretty girl walks by. They take a second and sometimes a third peek.. they always do. Even a man walking with his beautiful wife(I assume it’s his wife) at his side can’t resist taking just another look while he thinks that no one knows. I’ve got bad news for that guy. God knows.

Now I know that you would think... okay, Bertus, so now God showed you right from wrong but you are still a sinner and that does not mean that you can live like Jesus did.

Well that’s not the point here. I can not really explain to you how good it feels to see sin and turn away from it. Making a conscious decision that I want what God want’s from me. What Would Jesus Do? ..really got meaning now. And the best thing about being sensitive to sin is that you just get a whole lot closer to Jesus in the process. When you see it everywhere, you feel how God is guiding you in the right direction. You see a clear difference between things from satan and things from God. I felt God’s presence every minute of the day. His Holy Spirit guiding me and holding my hand throughout the day.

I’m still no saint, please don’t get me wrong, I’m sure that I might have sinned a couple of times while writing this blog, but I can tell you this: I don’t want to move away from Jesus ever in my life. Walking in His presence is already such an amazing feeling and to add to it, turning away from the things that hurt God is just so rewarding.  It does not mean you can’t have that beer or be passionate about your rugby or even making good money. But when you open your mind and heart to God, you know that you can enjoy these things within God’s boundaries without feeling guilty about it. You can also know that when you are closer to God, that He will not only show you right from wrong, but also help you in making decisions, decisions that might change your life.. know that when you have God making your decisions for you, it will always be the right ones and it will always be blessed.

Now I challenge you for this week.  Just open your mind to the Holy Spirit. Let Him guide you throughout the day. When you are confronted by satan, ask yourself.. What would Jesus do? Then do the right thing.

My prayer for you is that God will guide you and lead you in this world of darkness to show you His bright light and for you to be filled with His joy as you walk in His presence. I also pray that you will be delivered from the guilt that satan wants you to feel every time that you step out of line and I pray that you only love God more as you receive His grace.

Have a blessed week.

B

Digging Deeper...

Hi Everyone

I went to church tonight. Now that’s not something new for me, I love going to church, but tonight I went to Moreleta Park NG Kerk.. I never thought I’d ever end up in an “NG Kerk” again in my life, but God has been talking to me again in the last week and especially in the last two days. He showed me so many things about myself. Things I was blind to or things I never thought existed. One of those things was an old “grudge” against the “NG Church”. It’s the church I grew up in and it’s where I got my Christian fundamentals. But it’s also the chruch that turned it’s back on me and caused me to turn my back on God.. Sure I still had a choice, but I was so angry with God and with the church.

So I got saved in October 2010 and since then God filled me with joy, a happiness that was better than anything and He took away all my pain and all my suffering from the past. Or so I thought...

This last week I found that I am not as strong as I thought. I still need a lot of work and that’s the reason why God wanted me here in Pretoria. Maybe He’s got more in store for me, but for now He wants to work with me and get to know me. Last week He showed me half of the story. When I wrote about how we should tell Him everything about ourselves. This week He showed me the meaning of it. The meaning of really opening your heart and soul to Him.

So as I said God took away the pain and suffering from the past and in the last year He showed me many things including a lot of miracles and He also saved my life from almost certain death.

But the “honeymoon” is now over. Now He is really going deeper with me. It’s like being butchered to the bone and exposing every single thing about myself to myself and to Him. The pain of the past might be gone, but have I really dealt with everything?

Sure, many things really is gone. God delivered me from a lot of things in my past, but I found that there are still one or 2 things that I have to admit to myself and to God before He can take it away.

One thing being the old “grudge” against the “NG Kerk” and tonight God delivered me from it. At first I felt that I should have rather gone to a charismatic church tonight, but when we started to sing, the words of the songs made me reallise that this is where I need to be tonight and when God’s plan comes together it’s just amazing as the message was so relevant, but besides that, the best thing that I can take away from this experience is that I don’t have any problem with the “NG Kerk” anymore. I realised that I judged a church because of my bad experience, but I could see how they touch many lives and in the process gives glory to our Father. They might have a few different rules and most of them are “man made”, but I could feel God’s presence and that is not “man made”. I think I know God well enough to recognise Him when He shows up and He was definitely there, sitting on the open chair next to me.

I think the one message I have tonight is something that you’ve heard before. Don’t judge. Don’t judge the church and don’t judge the people. Everyone is different and everyone has a different way of believing, but we all serve the same God and that’s the most important thing. Do we all have a personal relationship with God? That is not deteremined by the church you go to, that is determined by you and you alone.

The other message I have relates to my previous blog post.

Getting to know God on a very intimate level.

So I spoke about my “grudge” against the church, which is now gone. Just please know that the word “grudge” sounds so harsh and since I’ve been saved I didn’t really hate the church, I was delivered from hate, but I still had this small thing somewhere deep inside that I didn’t even know of.  

Now God also showed me a couple of other things that I didn’t even know of but became very apparent this past week. Now I must say, the way God showed me these things is just amazing.

He first made me face my weaknesses by events that occurred this past week. He didn’t come to me in a dream and pointed out a few things that I need to repent off and then I’m fine. He showed me these vulnerabilities in real life. So I had a very hard time facing them and then, this weekend, after I’ve dealt with it all in the wrong ways and after I screwed up, yet again, He showed me the meaning of it. When you think you figured something out, thats when you have to realise that you just explained the obvious and that you are nowhere close to the root of the problem. God came to me and showed me the roots of these “issues” that I had. I can now give all of these things to God as He reveals them to me. Now something I also realised is that we are never going to be perfect in this life. There will always be things underneath the surface, but we should not stop digging and we should not stop talking to God about it. He is the only doctor who can really take away all the bad and heal you. I saw a bumper sticker tonight reading: “Stay healthy... walk with God” .

God is really taking me on a "soul-trip". I knew He wanted to work with me, but as soon as I boarded His plane a few weeks ago, it took of like a rocket. He is showing me things all the time and is really digging deep into me.

I am not going to mention everything He showed me as this is a blog and my relationship with God is as personal one between me and the Father, so sorry, no details, but the point I am trying to make is that I want to reiterate what I said last week...

You have to be honest with God. Remember that He already knows everything, but it’s only when you tell Him about all your pain and all your weaknesses that He will start talking to you and show you how to go about it.

A personal relationship with God is a 2 way interaction. It’s not a monologue. Tell Him what scares you, tell Him what hurts you. Tell Him about your fears and your weaknesses. You have to give it all to Him. Everything. Only then will He take it away, but you have to take that first step.

God heals. He fills us with joy and He gives us a new life. Do you want it? Do you accept it?

Something I will share tonight that God showed me is His tremendous love. Now I thought I had experience His love in the last year, but in this past week God showed me how much He really loves us. I don’t think we can ever explain it, but just think of it this way. Would you give up your son?

Easy question? No. You would never? Would you give up anyone that you care about? Would you let them die if you had a choice? Would you even be able to look at them while they suffer? All of us has lost loved ones. Maybe just an aunt or a grandmother, but we had to stand at the grave, watching the coffin lowered into the ground. It’s right at that point where it usually hits me that hardest. That realisation that it’s over. It’s the end and you will never see that person again. The only thing you have left is memories and overtime this will also fade away. It breaks your heart and you never really heal from it. We go through years of mourning and sometimes we find something to fill that gap, but even 20 years after you have lost someone to the grave, you could still feel something is lost when you look at a picture or when you are remind of a specific memory.

Now just try to think how much pain God had to go through to give up His Son. Remember that sadness and pain is emotions that God created because He can also feel it. He knows exactly what it means. Just think how much it must have hurt Him to give up His only Son.

Now let’s go further... How much do you need to love someone to give up your Son for them?

Just imagine how much God loves us that He gave His Son and watched Him being tortured, being humiliated and watched Him die on a cross. What would you do if you had to see your son go through all of this? Would you not get angry? I think some of us would instantly go mad and end up in a mental institution.

But God loves us so much that He endured the pain of the death of His Son for us.

In John 17:23 Jesus prays to the Father:

”I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.”

So God loves us as much as He loves Jesus.

Can we even begin to understand what this means?

That God loves us, you and me, useless sinners and pittiful beings as much as He loves Jesus.

I challenge you this week to still pray to God and open up to Him, but also to sit and think about His love for a minute or 2. Just sit in silence and think about how different things would have been if not for God’s infinite love.

Blessings and joy for the week:-)

B 

B's Blog is Back

Hi Everyone!

So it’s been months since my first blog post and so much has happened in this time. My apologies for being so quiet, I’ll make up for it... somehow.

Let’s give you a quick update: I’ve seen a man being healed from 15 years of suffering from a stomach illness. I’ve experienced physical healing myself.  I’ve seen how 3 people get jobs and some against all odds within only days of praying. I’ve seen how people give their lives to God and how God can change it. I’ve seen miracles and experienced them myself.

Even in my life I’ve seen God work every day and He truly blessed me with so much, I can only praise His Holy Name!

It’s been almost a year since I started walking with God, learning, growing and experiencing His love and now He has even greater plans for me. I moved to Pretoria at the end of August and I would not have been here if it wasn’t for God’s plan. I tried to fight it, but He very clearly said to me that He wanted me to come to the capitol. In fact, He took control and changed my circumstances in a way that I had no other choice.

I am not yet 100% sure exactly what God has in store for me over here, but one thing I’m certain of is that for the next few months He wants me to get to know Him even better. He wants to spend time with me, alone.

It’s very exciting for me as I know that I’ll get to know Jesus on a very intimate level. I really want to know 

God, I want to know His heart and I believe that He will be using this time to prepare me for something bigger.

I have many ideas on how I’d like to serve Him, but for now I am just waiting on Him to show me the way forward. I know one thing though, there is never a better time than “now” to spread His Word and sharing my experiences and testimonies with the world... hence this blog update.

Something to think about

God showed me some things this weekend. Some of it very disturbing and some very scary, but also some positive things.

Let’s start with the bad news.

Now I don’t ever want to be negative, so I don’t really like telling you this, but God showed it to me and I think it’s important to have a little reality check sometimes. I know it’s nothing new, you read it in the papers and you see it on TV every day, but this world is shattered. Evil rules it and no one seems to care. I don’t even have to tell you about the wars, the hate, the greed and the sinful practices of this world. Today is the 10^th anniversary of the 9/11 WTC attacks. 10 years and we cannot see any improvement. It was a huge shock for every single person who saw it on the news that day, but still, we continue in our wicked ways. We ask the question: ”Where was God?”, as if it’s His fault, yet we do not allow Him into our lives. We want Him to be “on call” in times of emergencies, but when the tragedy has passed, we go on with our lives and forget about God.

Here is the awkward reality. God is not your “emergency service”. God is not your slave who needs to jump into action as soon as you need Him. No. No. No!! Yet we treat Him that way.

God doesn’t need to do anything. He is God...

And what a great and wonderful God He is...

God also showed me something very positive. He showed me that despite everything going on in this world. Despite all the hate and fear and the evil in this world, He is still there for His children. Let’s call a spade a spade... the way things is going in this world, we’re all going to hell. A scary thought and something I don’t think we all realise.

But God said to me that we do not have to be afraid. We do not have to fear anything that’s from this world, but we need to seek Him.

We need to shift our focus from ourselves to Him. We need to seek His will. We need to stop thinking of what I want. What’s best for me, what’s my needs or my desires.. we need to ask: What does God want? What is His desire? What is His will and how can I best serve Him.

When we realize that this life’s purpose is not about us, but about God’s will something amazing happens. When we open the door for Him, He steps right in and changes things.

That’s the time when He heals, when He saves and when He revives.. better than any emergency service. His mere presence in your life will change everything for good.. and it will be great.

Something very specific that God showed me is the way He wants us to interact with Him and it’s all through prayer. Prayer is our most powerful weapon against any evil from this world and prayer can be used for many things. Yes, you may ask God for a lot of things through prayer and He will give it to you when and how He sees fit, but you also need to connect with Him through prayer. Praise Him and thank Him. We are so used to just praying when we need something.. especially in “emergencies”. But do we spend time with God just trying to get to know Him better?

Do we just ask favors from Him or do we really want to know the Person who is God?

I challenge you, as I also challenge myself(because I’m also a sinner), to try and pray at least one prayer every day in this week, where you do not ask God for anything, but to help you to get to know Him better and also tell Him things about yourself. Your deepest fears, your darkest secrets. Things you are ashamed of. Anything that you could never tell anyone else. Also tell Him about your weaknesses. The things you hate about yourself. Tell him about the people in your life that you hate. Tell Him about everything that’s wrong in your life. Tell Him. Open your life to Him and see what happens. I suggest doing this behind a locked door. Yes you might think He knows it already, but tell Him. Open up your heart to Him and He will open His heart to you. Spend some private time with God. Just you and God.

He wants a relationship with you, what an honor and privilege. Don’t you what to know the God who created the universe... and you?

Blogging Accidentally

Hello.

Yip, my first word of my first ever blog is “hello”. It can only get better  from here on.

I’ve been trying to get myself to blog for a very long time now. Until now my “blog” has been Facebook statuses, but that only lasts that long and the limited space feels like an SMS. Yes I know I can post a long status, but who ever clicks on “See More”?

So then Friday(18 Feb) happened.

Nothing really amazing about the day. Work as usual and afterwards got home. Then off to collect an ADSL router which I then installed at some friends in De Tuin, Brackenfell. Nothing special about that and at about 21h45 I went back home. Got in my car. Felt okay. Started driving, still feeling okay.  Got to the Okovango  intersection.. AAAARHH!! Huge stomach cramps from nowhere. 

As I crossed the intersection it became worse by the second and I loosened my seatbelt to ease the pressure, not that it had any effect. Driving on and hoping that I make it home before I explode, I started feeling dizzy as I approached the Caltex filling station and just as I passed it, I passed out. Feinted into droomland. 

Next thing I know, I am being pulled from the car and I remember that it really felt like I was dreaming. That unreal feeling you get when you dream just before you wake up. I remember trying to wake up but to no avail. As they laid me down onto the sidewalk I realized that this is real. I’ve been in an accident. In almost 10 years of driving and miles and miles under my belt, I’ve never been in an accident and I’ve never caused one, but now I’ve been in one and I didn’t even know about it.

So as I lay on the sidewalk with people around me asking a million questions and trying to stabilise me, I started thinking. As things became more clear to me I started to realise what this was.

God had this planned for me. Showing me things I could never see without this accident.

Firstly, after going through a wall and into the side of a house, looking at the damage to the car and the minor injuries I incurred, it’s truly a miracle. I didn’t have my seatbelt fastened and the airbags also failed to deploy. Which mean that my head hit the steering wheel just as hard as the car hit the wall. I only have a broken nose and a bruised chin with some stitches.  No other logical explanation but for God saving me from any serious injuries in this one.

Secondly I saw how lucky I was when I got to the hospital and witnessing people who are really much worse off than myself. This gave me a new respect for people less privileged than myself.

To add to all of this, God made me realise that I could no longer just live my life from day to day. I got a second chance at this. No more holding back.

No more waiting for anything. No more “if only’s” or whatever is holding me back in life. I need to go out there and take it!

In the beginning of the year I didn’t have any new years’ resolutions as I don’t believe in it. But I had a new motto for my life: Work Hard, Play Hard and Pray Even Harder! This accident gave meaning to it. I now understand what this means.

So I started blogging as this is something I’ve been putting on hold for too long.

I now know why I should not wait for life.. There is only one way to go about life. ROCK IT!

Keep well.